Confessions of a 5'1"

I guess this is us, here for each other.

But with you over there and me watching you from afar with lips that can't seem to smile.

I don't know about you but I don't feel it anymore, that bond that we used to have. The one that kept you up to 3 AM just because I couldn't sleep. The same one that drove us to want to talk for hours and hours... when you had time for me.

I think you feel it too, the small empty space in your heart. At least, for a little while until you began to fill it with other things in your life. Mine's still here though and its pretty damn cold when the air blows through it.

I had the dropping feeling since the first time you didn't keep up with me anymore. The kind that makes your stomach knot and churn. I'd always get that tiny bit of hope that you would again, like you said. But I think it was only to protect myself from getting hurt all at once. I've been quiet for a while now and maybe I'm ready to admit we aren't close anymore.

I suppose its my fault for this outcome. For being too meek, too timid. For waiting. I remember when you apologized to me those times and I'd tell you that some things can't wait but I could. I was wrong, I shouldn't have waited or been scared to open up again. I should have fought for our friendship, for something so priceless. I read something on a blog a while ago and it made me go into tears. The ones you told me to call you whenever they came but I haven't. "When you really matter to someone, that person will always make time for you. No excuses, no lies and no broken promises."

I'm going to leave soon. Not only because of this throb but also because I'm tired of being pressured and guilted while I wait for you.

And when I do leave, I have a feeling you'll let me simple as that.