9/25/2009

... - --- .--.

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Let's talk in secret -(stop)- I'll leave you a note under the desk in the back corner, don't forget to check when you can -(stop)-

Do you have anything to tell me -(stop)- You looked kinda desperate the other day we met up behind that warehouse -(stop)- Did something happen or were you just over reacting again -(stop)- Like that time you forgot about me -(stop)- But it's ok, it's only me anyways -(stop)- No big deal -(stop)-

You want to know something confidential -(stop)- That boy over there fucked your ex boyfriend's girl the other day -(stop)- Let's all have secrets -(stop)- They're fun to share -(stop)- You're so nosy, it's true -(stop)- You can't help but eavesdrop if your ears hear something juicy - your devil horns are peeking -(stop)- It's just so hard to resist you tell me -(stop)- I understand -(stop)-

I see you after class hiding behind corners and lingering at the water fountain to listen to a girl fulminate about how her mother wouldn't buy her a car and how her friend down the street has three -(stop)- Did you ever wonder that it was because her mother, even with 3 jobs to keep her failing family from starving, just doesn't make enough to provide her princess with one -(stop)- And that little boy who sits in the back -(stop)- It's not that rumor about him being emo and a cutter -(stop)- His dad actually died from a brain tumor last week -(stop)- He's afraid he'll shatter into fragments of what's left if people harass him anymore -(stop)- Did someone whisper that into your ear too -(stop)- Or did what that girl who just passed you that note write to you about how Mark from your physics class just got whatever shit he had left from being abused from home beat out of him a few minutes ago in the cafeteria -(stop)-

Did you read that note I left you yet-(stop)-
Go read it -(stop)- It says:
You just need to -(stop)-


If I spoke to you, would you know who I am?

I seem to know all the twins at my school. I don't know how it happens.
But today, there was a pep rally for the football and volley ball game. I was to meet up with some friends to find a seat together.
Through the cracks between moving bodies, I see him. I wave and make my way over
before giving him a hug. Right when I hugged him, I realized something was wrong.
It wasn't him. It was his twin. I back up immediately and tell him needlessly, "You're not him."

It's strange just knowing one and not the other. In the other cases, I meet both at the same time and from seeing them together am able to tell them apart. However, I only new A. His brother, L, was a stranger to me, yet he was A - physically at least.

He talks to me. His manner of talking is unlike the way A speaks, and, honestly, I felt a bit scared. My mind kept thinking it was A, but he was so unfamiliar. He was a complete stranger.

------->

Be careful. Who you see is not who you think. They're completely opposites, actually. Didn't you know? Those girls at school, who hide behind layers of make-up. That's not really them. I bet they even have a fake laugh and breathe like someone else. Those everyday faces you see? It's not real. At least an eyelash, or a corner of the lip is a clone. Nobody is brave enough to show themselves.

And yes, I see you. In the halls and sometimes outside of school. I know how you really were. Before society got to you. Before you darkened your eyes and fabricated that robot behind your face. I knew you years ago. I know what you love, what you hate. What makes you laugh or causes your mouth to curve in your awkward thinking.

Do you know what I know?

I know you see me looking at you and what's going through my mind. You know me, too. We both conceal ourselves with our own home-made masks.

We know that if we expose too much that we'll get devoured by the judges chained to our tongue. That's too bad. I would've liked to see how you used to be like at least one more time.


So stop pretending like you are.

It's our faults that create a big ass chunk of who we are. It defines me as me and you as you.
I'm a small girl living in a small world within a bigger one. I like to people watch. Nice to meet you.
I like to imagine, how about you? Bright colors mesmerize me like little kids to a pedophile. Sometimes, whenever we sit together, I can see strange things. It plays with my mind, but it makes my life worthwhile. Hate droops over shoulders and love hides in pants.

Some people wear their heart on their sleeves. I hang mine from my hips. If you're willing to come down to my level, you'll see it. I like to think of you as the most significant part in a painting, normally. Practically, there shouldn't even be a signature on my body. I'm not made by the crowd.
In fact- I'll be the sex slave of whatever man manages to put a ring on my finger.

And honestly?
Scars are just tattoos with better stories.

9/02/2009

"Me up at does"

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Me up at does

out of the floor
quietly Stare

a poisoned mouse

still who alive

is asking What
have i done that

You wouldn't have

-E. E. Cummings
Please, I beg you.
Tell me what have I done?