Confessions of a 5'1"

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love," - Stendhal (1783 - 1842, France).

Even though I see it rain, I'm in love.

Even though you see it rain, you have a noose around your neck.

There's no way someone would want to lose their life on such a magnificent day I tell you.

Your hair is drenched from root to tip and dark spots are beginning to consume my clothes.

Zetsubou, zetsubou, zetsubou.

Magnificent day, huh? You chuckle to yourself (or perhaps someone else entirely?).

Didn't you hear the weather man? Rain for the next week, with temperatures below freezing.

The air embraces my body in a close hug, but it couldn't compare to yours.

The roads and allies were empty, even the wild souls hid in their sanctuaries.

You wait for an answer (or perhaps a prayer?).

I look up into the empty vacuum above, crying itself pure on everything below.

Fuck the weather man, it's a great day.

For Aaron

I've always loved carnivals, theme parks and such. I loved the bright colors, the constant background laughing. The food, the candy - the happy that radiated all over. I loved it all. Everytime I go, sometime during the day or night I'd have to just sit and watch people take in the lighthearted mood.

To see the exhilarated faces as they stumbled off of the rides and their stammering voices as they attempt to tell their side of how entertained they were.

But always, always. I'd see someone, a child, and sometimes even an adult, cry out to a relative, a friend or the ride's operator: Stop! I want to get off!

They would have these widened eyes and their brows would be pinched together. Their mouth opened in their frightened state as they would plea for it to be over.

Sometimes I'd see their parents or friend run up to the worker. Please, they'd say, Please stop it. Then the worker would shake their head, I can't stop it for everyone just because of that one person. They'll be ok.

The victim would then either grow silent and numb-like, or tears would gush down their face. And afterwards, they'd stumble from their seat and cry into a shoulder.

I would sit there and watch them for a few seconds before turning to a more optimistic scene and lick my ice cream. Too bad, I'd think to myself. If we really could end things whenever we were scared, I'd be telling you:

Stop the world, I want to get off.